You're so nebulous sometimes
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize