I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
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I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
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Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So here I am, sexting at work.
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