I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
now i know why i became what i already was.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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