He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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