Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
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Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
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I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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