fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
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Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
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The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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