just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
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The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
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What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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