Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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