i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize