should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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