I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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