I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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