Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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