College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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