Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize