Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Randomize