Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
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just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
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I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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