Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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