i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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