yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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