I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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