I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize