Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.

(608): View more from Wisconsin

Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.

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(608): Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting. (608): Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro. http://tfl.nu/1sa0

Replies (18) Good night (1049) Bad night (2441)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.

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(513): I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed. http://tfl.nu/lx5o

Replies (20) Good night (5650) Bad night (712)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Heyyyy darlin are you busy?

(1-319): View more from Iowa

Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.

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(319): Heyyyy darlin are you busy? (1-319): Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night. http://tfl.nu/pwb0

Replies (34) Good night (25245) Bad night (1626)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.

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(609): i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you. http://tfl.nu/fon6

Replies (9) Good night (784) Bad night (3844) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.

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(760): Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule. http://tfl.nu/62pd

Replies (24) Good night (1189) Bad night (4104) Order T-Shirt
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.

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(401): I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs. http://tfl.nu/di07

Replies (8) Good night (3532) Bad night (1324) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

we're about an hour out, how's the weather?

(720): View more from Colorado

cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.

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(303): we're about an hour out, how's the weather? (720): cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home. http://tfl.nu/na0o

Replies (14) Good night (5946) Bad night (977)
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(804): View more from Virginia

They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.

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(804): They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas. http://tfl.nu/dkws

Replies (4) Good night (2953) Bad night (656)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.

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(203): Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it. http://tfl.nu/pgje

Replies (10) Good night (1187) Bad night (552)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can

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(412): attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can http://tfl.nu/zc74

Replies (7) Good night (603) Bad night (1218) Order T-Shirt
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(912): View more from Georgia

Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.

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(912): Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks. http://tfl.nu/l0wp

Replies (5) Good night (1053) Bad night (366) Order T-Shirt
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(775): View more from Nevada

True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.

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(775): True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/jwe6

Replies (8) Good night (944) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
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(803): View more from South Carolina

He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.

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(803): He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple. http://tfl.nu/4atf

Replies (2) Good night (1002) Bad night (144)
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(928): View more from Arizona

You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions

(1-928): View more from Arizona

Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.

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(928): You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions (1-928): Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit. http://tfl.nu/mpos

Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (186) Order T-Shirt
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.

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(704): I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina. http://tfl.nu/8h1n

Replies (9) Good night (515) Bad night (189) Order T-Shirt

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