I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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