summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
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doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
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In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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