he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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