We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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