i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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