So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize