and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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