I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
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Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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