im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize