I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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