I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize