I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize