i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
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I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
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What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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