Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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