What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize