The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize