No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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