what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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