I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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