she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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