Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize