i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize