I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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