Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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