what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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