I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
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Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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