It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
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